Tuesday, May 13, 2008

13 going on P-I-M-P!


This story is Shuh-mazing!

A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad's credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a "World of Warcraft" tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.


13! He's a BALLER and I don't even think his have even dropped!

Seriously, I tried applying for a student loan and got stumped when they asked for my parents social security number. And what dumb broads would fall for the stunted growth traveling with a circus lie--wait, I probably would have, and then would have given them extra lovin' because circus people I'm sure are somewhat google-able. 

(haha personal note, this reminds me of a story of my brother, Mexico, tequila, and a midget named Tortilla--or did she make tortillas? haha I'll have to check on that)

Either way, one cannot write this shit. Richie Rich, Blank Check, and Billy Madison all wished they weren't produced by Disney so they too could have been as big of bad asses. 

Hell, the NY governor Eliot Spitzer wishes he had half the brains of Ralph Hardy.

I will totally vote for this kid when he turns 18...Party Hard with Hardy in '13! 

[not at 13, in '13--2013...I don't go for the youngins (lies)]

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