SXSW

As all of you kids with parents who not only fund your education but also your alcoholic habits left for Las Vegas, Cancun, Cabo, Panama City, New Orleans, ect. I stayed in Austin—I know, don’t piss your self with all of the excitement. I asked my parents for a Spring Break trip and they became hysterical with laughter and told me to go swim in my bathtub. Punks, they know my bathtub has no drain plug. Swimming in it is IMPOSSIBLE.

However, back to the point… As I was stuck in Austin I was able to partake in a little music fest called South By Southwest…or for most Ray Ban Wayfarer wearing cool kids, SXSW. Although my personal title, which all of you are extremely welcome to use: The Black Skinny Jeans, Black Pointy Boots, White V-Neck and/or Flannel shirt, Fedora Hat INVASION! Ooooor The Pete Doherty Pathetic Wannabe’s Meet and Greet.

Seriously, I didn’t know that besides the VIP badges everyone was sporting you also had to wear this outfit (pictured below). I swear anyone at this music festival probably saw 327,439,274,902,348,902 chach bags sporting this look.




Breaking News Flash: if 327,439,274,902,348,902 people are wearing this exact outfit, or an insignificant variation of this outfit…you are not unique. You are not trendy. And you might as well wear the pastel polo and Chinos uniform you all like to bash. Ugh, go burn your fingers while smoking a crack pipe you fedora wearing losers.